{"product_id":"absolutely-goosed-irish-slang-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Absolutely Goosed — Irish Slang Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSpiritually horizontal. One minor inconvenience away from hibernation. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"Absolutely Goosed\" is peak Irish — the perfect way to describe that specific state of being, where you're not just tired, you're \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003edone\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Finished. Good luck and thanks. Cooked. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis unisex graphic tee features a profoundly defeated goose who has fully accepted his fate, and honestly? Same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're recovering from a festival, surviving a Monday, or still haunted by that last pint — this tee gets it. No explanation required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChronic overcommitters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eParents of small humans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who said \"one more pint\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMonday survivors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who peaked in 2019\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFestival aftermath, travel fatigue, life in general\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan 6400 Heavy Cotton unisex tee — built for everyday wear, relaxed fit, and sharp DTG printing that holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–3XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTrue to size relaxed fit — size up for oversized, size down for closer fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton (solid colours)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, tear-away label for all-day comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on demand — made specifically for your order, zero excess waste\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold inside-out · Tumble dry low · Do not iron directly on print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted and dispatched within 2–5 business days ·\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e US delivery 5–10 days · Ireland \u0026amp; EU 3–7 days\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e79\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e92\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e102\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e112\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e122\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e132\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e142\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eGeneral\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eA durable, comfortable, and versatile t-shirt that excels in printability and wearability, making it a top choice for custom designs .\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWash\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe t-shirt should be washed with similar colors and can sustain regular washing without losing color or 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